Akatsuki Games
by AkatsukiSoRules
Summary: Tobi wants the Akatsuki to play games. The outcomes of these games will be inappropriate, dangerous, mental, and... shocking! xD may contain some yoai, swearing, violence, etc... ENJOY!


Me: Hey! This is my first…. Well, total crack story I guess. I tried to make it funny and totally random while still partially original. It's harder than I expected. So if I used something someone else has already done in their story I apologize. Also, I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS! THEY BELONG TO MASASHI KISHIMOTO! Ya that's about it….

Tobi: Oh! Oh! Tobi wants to say something!

Me: -_-;; What Tobi?

Tobi: Look! Look! *points down to a bulge in his pants*It happened when Tobi walked into Deidara-sempai and Sasori-san's room because Tobi is a good boy!

Me: *perverted thoughts*

Tobi: Is Sonia-chan okay?

Me: *blush* y-yeah… why don't you go show that to Itachi-kun?

Tobi: Okay! Tobi will because Tobi is a good boy! *runs off to show Itachi*

Me: *evil perverted thoughts* Oh yeah, forgot about you… Uh … READ THE STORY!

Akatsuki Games Chapter 1

"Tobi wants to play games because Tobi is a good boy!"

"No," replied Pein. He was trying to keep the organization of evil missing-nins serious and… well, evil. Tobi was not helping.

"Tobi wants to play games…" hissed Tobi as something red gleamed from the hole in his mask. _Damn you Madara_, thought Pein.

"Fine," said Pein reluctantly. "We're playing games now so get your asses out here! NOW!" Everyone walked into the living room of the Akatsuki Hideout and took a seat. A couple of them were grumbling to themselves about how much they hate their lives and Hidan was cursing Pein under his breath. "Okay, now that you're all here… Tobi will take over," stated Pein, turning his attention to the mentally confused, very deadly, Uchiha. Tobi leapt up from his spot before speaking, more like yelling.

"Yayz, Tobi get's to be leader because Tobi is a good boy! Tobi orders everyone to take off their pants because Tobi is a good boy!" Pein's eye twitched. Konan giggled. Deidara looked taken aback. Sasori face palmed. Kisame burst out laughing. Itachi just acted as if nothing had happened.

"What the hell! Why does this little shit get to be fucking leader! I could be twenty fucking times the damn leader he'll ever be!" screamed Hidan. Kakuzu grabbed a handful of his hair and smashed his head against the wall repeatedly until he stopped moving.

"Is he dead?" asked Deidara silently hoping he was.

"I wish," grumbled Sasori. Hidan's constant screaming and tendency to break things gave him a head ache. Sometimes he just wanted to cut him open and take out all his organs, one-by-one, then stick them all back in incorrectly before having Kakuzu stitch him back up.

"Back to the games," sighed Pein. "Tobi, you are not leader. You're just in charge of the games because I don't know any."

"Oh," said Tobi in a disappointed tone, but he quickly recovered. "Tobi wants to play spin the bottle because bottles are pretty and Tobi is a good boy!"

Everyone yelled, "NO!"

Tobi pouted. "Let's play 'I've Never', yeah!" shouted Deidara. Everyone agreed. Kisame went to the kitchen and came back with ten beers. He passed them out to everyone before taking a seat. "You sure we should be giving Tobi beer, hmm?" asked Deidara looking uncertain.

Sasori chuckled. "You're one to talk Brat, aren't you underage?" Deidara blushed, but didn't say anymore.

"Let's just begin. Deidara, you go first," said Pein. He just wanted to get this over with.

Deidara scrunched up his nose, trying to think of something good. "I've never… done it with a girl." He knew it was boring, but he couldn't think of anything better at the moment. _Pein was probably going be the only one to drink,_ he thought. He gasped when Konan took a sip after Pein.

"Holy shit! You're a fucking Lesbian!" yelled Hidan. The mention of beer had revived him.

Konan sighed. "No, Hidan. I'm bisexual for your information. Why else would I be with Pein?"

"I don't fucking know! Maybe he's like a damn pimp or something under that fucking shadow disguise thingy!"

Pein groaned at Hidan's stupidity. "I am not a pimp."

"Then why do you fucking disguise yourself!"

"I disguise myself because you don't need to know what I look like."

"Bullshit man, you're probably just fucking ugly or something!"

"I'm not ugly!" Pein had finally snapped. He would NOT be called 'ugly' by this asswipe!

"Ha! You are ugly as hell! Why else would you get so fucking mad!"

Pein took off his disguise (I don't really know how to word that). Everyone stared at him in shock except Konan and Tobi.

"Shit. You have a fucking lot of piercings!" yelled Hidan, his eyes on Pein's face. Slowly, his eyes wandered lower and he saw that Pein also had piercings in his arms. Hidan smirked. "Where else do you have them?"

Pein was about to reply when it hit him, what Hidan meant. Pein felt his face grow hot. Hidan's smirk grew larger. Pein looked to Konan for help, but was shocked to see she had an evil grin on her pretty face.

"Oh, he has them everywhere," she said with the grin still plastered to on her face. "I think it's sexy." She purred the last part. Pein face felt like it was on fire now. Hidan was laughing his ass off. Everyone else, besides Pein, Konan and Itachi looked horrified.

"Wouldn't that hurt? Like, a lot, yeah?" Deidara asked, cringing.

"I can't take it anymore!" screamed Zetsu as he lunges towards Itachi. He grabbed Itachi by the ponytail and flung him out the window. **"Show some fucking emotion you damn weasel!" **He then proceeded to curl up in a ball and rip out his hair, chunk-by-chunk. The only sound was an occasional whimper from Zetsu. After five minutes of that Tobi broke the awkward silence.

"Kisame! Go get Itachi so the next person can go! Tobi wants to play games because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Uber Blue Boy, away!" shouted Kisame as he hurled himself out the window.

Me: Next chapter will come soon! … Hopefully… It'll probably depend on the reaction I get from readers… *wink* *wink* Reviews will be appreciated! *wink* *wink*… Oh my god…. I see Tobi coming back… On fire… Uh-oh…


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